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4/2/08 09:33![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mackinzieAlso the name of a dude in the bible.
My boss told me I should start looking for another job so I did. I applied for a few places: a secretary at my old college, a receptionist at a senior citizens center, a management in training at Hertz Rent-a-car.
The boss still wants me to come in two or three times a month to do work. I can maybe come in on Saturdays or something. I'm just so SCARED. It's the only second job I've had and I loved working for my old boss. It was a really really good job. He was very flexible and I could get off whenever I wanted and there wasn't a lot to do and he has the kitties at work that I love to play with.
I want to stay there. I've been there for five years and five months. I guess I'm scared of change.
Today I went to the "workforce commission" and applied...there are a lot of scary people there. The ladies seemed really keen to helping me, though. I guess because I was dressed in a suit.
The job I applied for, the secretary job, had me do a writing proficiency test. I got 94% accurate and 57 wpm. Expert and advanced levels.
If I get the secretary job, which is what I want the most, it'll be getting $1,600 (or so) with benefits.
Hopefully that'll be enough (after taxes and loans) to let me get out on my own. That's the next step.
I'm scared of that too.
When you step out of your routine, everything looks so new and different. Sometimes it's scary sometimes it's fun or just...new.
I don't know what to think of all this. It's happening all at once.
My boss told me I should start looking for another job so I did. I applied for a few places: a secretary at my old college, a receptionist at a senior citizens center, a management in training at Hertz Rent-a-car.
The boss still wants me to come in two or three times a month to do work. I can maybe come in on Saturdays or something. I'm just so SCARED. It's the only second job I've had and I loved working for my old boss. It was a really really good job. He was very flexible and I could get off whenever I wanted and there wasn't a lot to do and he has the kitties at work that I love to play with.
I want to stay there. I've been there for five years and five months. I guess I'm scared of change.
Today I went to the "workforce commission" and applied...there are a lot of scary people there. The ladies seemed really keen to helping me, though. I guess because I was dressed in a suit.
The job I applied for, the secretary job, had me do a writing proficiency test. I got 94% accurate and 57 wpm. Expert and advanced levels.
If I get the secretary job, which is what I want the most, it'll be getting $1,600 (or so) with benefits.
Hopefully that'll be enough (after taxes and loans) to let me get out on my own. That's the next step.
I'm scared of that too.
When you step out of your routine, everything looks so new and different. Sometimes it's scary sometimes it's fun or just...new.
I don't know what to think of all this. It's happening all at once.
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5/2/08 08:11 (UTC)Something I learned once... try to practice it when I can remember... ;)
Fear can protect you or it can hold you back. The important thing is to make a conscious decision and discern which type of fear it is. Without fear, none of us would be alive. We'd step off a cliff or jump out of an airplane or something. It keeps us safe.
But the kind of fear that holds you back, that keeps you from living a full live, that's not good fear. That's the kind of fear you have to view as a hurdle, not a wall. It's something to be jumped over to see what's on the other side.
There's a variety of clever quotes, from Henry the Fifth's famous speech, to William Wallace ("Every man dies. Not every man really lives"). But you get the picture.
You're an amazing talent. You're a vibrant person. Don't hide yourself away or hold yourself back. Spread your wings, girl. Fly.
I know you can. :)