Truth can be funnier than Fiction

[mackinzie]

Two stories that REALLY happened just this week to my parents and in the building where I work. They were hilarious.



My mom's cell phone rang at work. She answered the phone and it didn't go through.

And then the phone rang again and she noticed the number was almost the same as hers because it was one number off but she thought "Who do I know with this number?" But she went ahead and answered the number.

It was this kid on there. He said "I'm going to unzip your pants and pull out my dick."

And she said "Oh don't do that."

And he said "Why?" mockingly. And she hung up.

So she sat and thought about it and she though "Well, should I report to the phone company or what?" and then she thought about it some more.

So she called my father and said "You want to have some fun?"

She told him about the kid calling. My dad said "What'd he say?" and she told him.

And then he said "What's the number?"

So she hung up and he called him.

A boy answered the phone. My dad says "Who the fuck has been calling my wife?"

The kid who was on the phone said fearfully, "Not me, it was Steven!"

My dad said "Let me talk to Steven."

And Steven got on there and my dad said "Are you the fucker that's been calling my wife?!"

(My dad has a deep, menacing voice with a southern accent. He can sound pretty friggin scary.)

And Steven replied, absolutely terrified "Sir, I--I was just...I'm sorry but I was just having some fun."

My dad said "Well I know someone who works at the cell phone company and they've given me your address and I'm going to be over there in just a minute."

And he said. "Oh no sir don't do that!!! I promise I'll never do this again."

My dad hung up.







This lady that has a store in my boss's building (she runs a phone sex business) was at the building late at night when she heard someone trying to get into the different doors of the building. She turns off the lights so they don't think she's there.

The lady has a friend with her and tells her to be quiet so they can listen. Then, apparently the lady had accidentally left her car unlocked so the people get in her car trying to steal some stuff.

The lady said she didn't know what came over her but she went out there and hauled the guy out of the car by his hair and started to beat the SHIT out of him. His friends that were with him take off running.

So she's on top of the guy and the guy's screaming, "Get off me! Get off me! Bitch I'll kill you!"

She replies "Well you better get your friends to help you because you weren't much to beat up on!"

Her friend calls the police and they come by and they're laughing. She's still on top of the guy and beating him up whenever they get there. They haul him off.

Needless to say, he and his friends probably won't be back.