Hey, wait, I gotta new complaint...

[mackinzie]

Me in my big white Reeboks,
A gift.
Instead of happiness,
I feel guilty for so many things.
This is my vice.

They're dirty,
Changing brown for former white.
A little like cream in coffee.
But those words are too nice.

Sole and souls
Walking on the ground
This Earth
The sidewalks
Made dirty

Instead of cleaning these dirty shoes
I want to step back in my black boots
Worn in, quietly trodden souls
Comfortable to me
And better hidden from the dirt
The grime

Yet somehow I walk a little taller
A little different
in these noisy shoes
Better or worse?

My shoes
Me and my shoes
Pondering the soul of soles

Comments

[shadow-3013.livejournal.com]

I don't like the period after "coffee" in the second strophe. That aside, however... *likes*

Although... something about the poem bothers me. I'm thinking that it's the change in punctuation style (i.e. lots to none) after the second strophe. In fact, yeah, that's probably it...