![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I miss the days of simplicity. They were before the month of October, before everything decided to happen at once and make me want to tear my hair out.
School has been hell. 9th circle kind of hell.
Her Royal Bitchness, my english teacher, decides to make us write and answer our own test...and we have two days to do it.
My speech teacher has us memorizing crap for quizzes every class period.
My acting teacher makes us write an essay on a play we were supposed to see.
My Comedy class teacher has us reading a play and writing a paper on the play that I was supposed to see for the other class.
Then, I have 10 journal entries to do in acting class and I haven't been doing those because I'm doing everything else.
And then the devil, my english teacher, gives us a 6 page test with two essays. And...unlike other teachers...when we don't have time to finish the other essay, makes us do it for homework along with read.
Then,don't get me started about online. People get banned in a chatroom, chaos ensues. I get to be in the middle, cause I'm still banned guy's friend and I wanna play in the room too.
Oh yeah, and I have a test tomorrow in acting class...speech homework due wednesday, a story to read for english, a speech to practice for and...I think that's it.
I don't feel like whining to anyone. Journal's work fine.
I'm tired of being nice to some people and getting the cold shoulder. I'm tired of being background friend, annoying talk too much girl.
I'm tired of being too helpful. Once I liked this guy, and so did my friend, but I talked to him and he ended up liking my friend...which I let her go right ahead and take him. (Of course he ended up being a player and eventually dating my cousin and fathering her baby then breaking up with her cause she accused him of being a perve, so I guess that's okay)
My head hurts. I'm depressed. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. And it isn't even friday. Is this going to be the month of hell? Is this something to make me appreciate the good times? What?
I want to be comfortable with a person, a guy. The lovey dovey approach puts me off. I'm okay with the initial stages where they're friendly, just friendly, not...I wanna hold your hand and kiss you and stuff before I even know if I like the guy.
I know some girls might like that, I guess. Just...stuff happened in my life that makes me uncomfortable when they act that way. Do they really wanna get into my pants or something? With me, sorry, not the way honey.
And a lot of the time I just want the guy to just be my friend. And I'll tell them so, but they don't understand. It's like they have sand in their ears.
Don't do that.
Please.
Let me make the first move if I like you beyond that.
Or maybe they really aren't flirting or doing anything. Maybe I'm just reading signals wrong. Either way, I don't know. Do I come off as...'do me!'? Sometimes I feel like an emotional hooker.
I need asprin.
School has been hell. 9th circle kind of hell.
Her Royal Bitchness, my english teacher, decides to make us write and answer our own test...and we have two days to do it.
My speech teacher has us memorizing crap for quizzes every class period.
My acting teacher makes us write an essay on a play we were supposed to see.
My Comedy class teacher has us reading a play and writing a paper on the play that I was supposed to see for the other class.
Then, I have 10 journal entries to do in acting class and I haven't been doing those because I'm doing everything else.
And then the devil, my english teacher, gives us a 6 page test with two essays. And...unlike other teachers...when we don't have time to finish the other essay, makes us do it for homework along with read.
Then,don't get me started about online. People get banned in a chatroom, chaos ensues. I get to be in the middle, cause I'm still banned guy's friend and I wanna play in the room too.
Oh yeah, and I have a test tomorrow in acting class...speech homework due wednesday, a story to read for english, a speech to practice for and...I think that's it.
I don't feel like whining to anyone. Journal's work fine.
I'm tired of being nice to some people and getting the cold shoulder. I'm tired of being background friend, annoying talk too much girl.
I'm tired of being too helpful. Once I liked this guy, and so did my friend, but I talked to him and he ended up liking my friend...which I let her go right ahead and take him. (Of course he ended up being a player and eventually dating my cousin and fathering her baby then breaking up with her cause she accused him of being a perve, so I guess that's okay)
My head hurts. I'm depressed. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. And it isn't even friday. Is this going to be the month of hell? Is this something to make me appreciate the good times? What?
I want to be comfortable with a person, a guy. The lovey dovey approach puts me off. I'm okay with the initial stages where they're friendly, just friendly, not...I wanna hold your hand and kiss you and stuff before I even know if I like the guy.
I know some girls might like that, I guess. Just...stuff happened in my life that makes me uncomfortable when they act that way. Do they really wanna get into my pants or something? With me, sorry, not the way honey.
And a lot of the time I just want the guy to just be my friend. And I'll tell them so, but they don't understand. It's like they have sand in their ears.
Don't do that.
Please.
Let me make the first move if I like you beyond that.
Or maybe they really aren't flirting or doing anything. Maybe I'm just reading signals wrong. Either way, I don't know. Do I come off as...'do me!'? Sometimes I feel like an emotional hooker.
I need asprin.
